Fall Out of Therinfal Redoubt
by Tonks32
Summary: Cassandra has noticed that Gideon has changed since their return grom Therinfal Redoubt. Watching him running laps in the cold, Cassandra was determined to find out what was eating at him.


Found myself needing to revisit Gideon and Cassandra again! Just a short little snippet! Hope you enoy. Like always, all mistakes are mine.

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There was a change after they returned from Therinfal Redoubt and it left Cassandra wondering day and night just what Gideon saw. Many tried to inquire, but Gideon would brush off the subject. Whatever happened, whatever he saw in that fade like world, shook him to the core. He was more focused in every aspect. He started to become completely adamant to see through every requisition that hit the war table and help everyone that either needed or asked for it. He became serious about raining in combat, horseback, and leadership. In truth, Gideon, while growing skilled in those areas, was running himself into the ground.

Hugging her cloak tighter in a horrible attempt to block out the chilly mountain air, Cassandra watched Gideon ding yet another lap around the frozen lake. It was the dead of night, colder than the void, and he wore only a thermal tunic, leathers and armored boots. He ran with ease, vaulting effortlessly over a rock and climbing up the small cliff he came across. Not only did his demeanor change, but so did his appearance. Gideon was letting his hair grow out along with his beard. With each passing day that past since their journey to Therinfal Redoubt he grew thicker with muscle. The gangly bard that fell out of the Fade was shaping up to be a formidable warrior.

Cassandra thanked the Maker that his kind-hearted and charming, sometimes awkward attitude hadn't diminished. She found herself cursing the Maker and herself. Though she fought it, Cassandra did find herself attracted to the man and his poor attempt at humor and everything that made Gideon the kind-hearted man he was at the beginning of this endeavor. She just kept that knowledge closely guarded. Even, surprisingly, from Leliana. A very hard task to accomplish.

Passing Blackwall's cabin, Gideon showed his pace upon seeing a cloaked figure standing by the dock of the frozen lake. His first thought was it had to be Leliana, then the figure shifted and his heart kicked pleasantly in his chest upon recognizing the movements that belonged to Cassandra. He'd been watching more than he should have the last few weeks.

"Cassandra." Gideon pushed his damp hair from his all but frozen face. "What has you up this late and out here in the cold?"

Cassandra cocked her head to the side. "I could ask you the same thing, Herald."

"Haven't been out here long. I wanted a quick run to clear my head."

"There is ice in your beard," Cassandra pointed out catching him in his lie.

Gideon scrubbed the hair on his face, fighting the urge to frown. He tried to shrug it off. "Not worried about me are you?"

"Actually, I am." Her words caught him further off guard. Since she had him at a disadvantage, Cassandra pressed on. "What is troubling you, Gideon?"

"Nothing-."

She folded her arms over her chest. "I thought by now you'd have enough respect for me not to tell me lies."

 _Damn stubborn woman._ Gideon worked his jaw as he tried to figure out the best course of action. The last thing he wanted was for Cassandra to feel he thought so little of here. "I do not wish to trouble you."

"I'm tougher than I look."

He let out a small laugh. "I know that. I'm reminded every time you knock me on my ass in the sparring ring."

"Gideon." She reached for his hand finding it freezing cold. Yet, the Herald didn't seem to show any discomfort by it. "You already have a heavy burden resting on your shoulders by being the Herald of Andraste. You feel that Theda's problems are yours to bear."

Gideon stared at their joined hands, stunned by the Seeker's actions. Maker's breath, one simple touch, and his heart clenched in his chest. "Isn't it?"

"They don't have to be just yours." Cassandra shifted closer in order to be heard over the howling wind. Or maybe it was the simple fact she was drawn to him. That she had the strongest urge to wrap her arms around him and take hold of him to comfort. "There are others that are in this for the long haul. Let me help you."

Once again, Gideon was surprised by Cassandra. In his many attempts to get to know her better, to worm his way into his life, she'd never been the one to be so open. He didn't want to expose her to the horrid images in his head, but he couldn't keep pushing himself. And if Cassandra was extending the olive branch, he was damn sure going to take it. Taking her hand between his, Gideon did his best to try to warm it. He couldn't be sure if there was an actual hitch in her breathing or if it was the shifting of the wind. "Let us go somewhere a tad warmer. The last thing I need is for either of us to get frostbite."

Cassandra was disappointed when he turned and let go of her hand. "Lead on."

Gideon decided to go to the Tavern knowing it would be deserted at this time of night. He didn't want to sir unwanted gossip by going back to either of their dwellings. Gideon let her start a fire in the hearth while he went around the counter for a pair of mugs and some spirits.

"There may be a bit of bread behind there," Cassandra informed. "Grab some and a knife."

Bread on a plate, Gideon's hand closed over the hilt of the knife and he turned. For a split second, he wasn't in the Tavern. Wasn't even in Haven. He was back in that world created by the Envy demon and the tip of the blade was coated in blood. Her blood.

Hearing the plate break against the wooden floor, Cassandra whirled around readying herself for a fight. Instead, she found Gideon three shades whiter than the snow falling outside and holding the knife in his trembling hand. He looked completely petrified. "Gideon?" She softly called out on a tentative step in his direction wishing she had a weapon of her own on the off chance this would go south. "Gideon, look at me. Gideon, please."

He continued to stare at her in horror.

Taking a chance and believe that he wouldn't actually hurt her, Cassandra grasped him by the wrist and wrenched the blunt blade from his grasp. Her touch seemed to be enough to knock him out of his stupor as he jolted back, stumbling over his own feet and hitting the ground hard. "Maker's breath."

"No! No!" Gideon slinked back from her until he hit a wall. "This is a trick. Just a trick. I wouldn't touch… I wouldn't hurt…"

The desperation in his voice tore her heart in two. Carefully, she knelt down in front of the distraught warrior. "It's okay. This is no trickery. You're in Haven and you are safe."

Blinking, Gideon tilted his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. He fought to even his breathing. "Cassandra?" he softly inquired his fingers itching to run over the scar branding her cheek. To assure himself that this was real. That she was real. And that he hadn't spilled her blood with his own hand.

"Yes. Take a deep breath." Cassandra encouraged, laying a hand on his knee. "That's it. Nice and slow."

Gideon focused on the cadence of her voice trying to match his breathing to hers. Embarrassment flooding his systems, he flushed. This wasn't his first episode, but the fact Cassandra, the might Seeker and forefront of the Inquisition, witnessed it made him feel utterly foolish. _Well, Shit._ There was no way he could brush her off now.

"Can you get up?"

Gideon shook his head. "I just-ugh-need a moment."

"Okay." Cassandra settled down next to him. Talking wasn't her strong suit in moments such as this. But, by Andraste, she was willing to try if it helped eased the terror from his face. "Are you, okay?"

Chocking on a half-hearted laugh, Gideon pulled his legs towards his chest and dropped his brow to his knees. "No," He mutters closing his eyes to trap the tears that threatened to fall. Much to his surprise, Gideon felt Cassandra brush her fingers along his temple. Her touch was so warm that his once frozen body was now a flamed. He caught himself before he could lean into it. "Far from it, in fact."

Cassandra, much like he did that night in her room months ago, didn't speak. She thought it best to wait until he wanted to talk. So, she continued to stroke the tips of her fingers over his temple.

Gideon wasn't sure how long they sat there before he spoke. "The Envy demon." The thought of it made his voice hitch and for once he didn't try to mask it. He knew that Cassandra wouldn't judge him. They seemed to have come to an understanding that night he found her crying in her quarters that they both were human at the end of the day. "He put me into this world. He kept whispering, trying to entice me with the raw power of the anchor."

Cassandra watched the Herald close his left hand into a fist, trapping the green light inside.

"He showed me the life I could have. I could rule all of Thedas, have them eating out of the palm of my hands. He-It dug through my head, focusing on such buried thoughts I didn't even know it was still there."

"And what was that?" Cassandra softly asked hating how he trembled.

"To live up to the Trevelyan name. Do my father's lacey proud. It didn't-doesn't matter, but the Envy demon latched onto it and blew onto the embers until the flames raged out of my control. I turned into a tyrant, killing my past, everything that made me weak. I killed you." Gideon's voice hitched in distress, remembering the feel of the blade running over her throat. Gideon tried to control his emotions but found the task near impossible. He felt her hand jerk at his confession and he pushed through to keep his rousing feeling from the woman to himself. "I killed everyone."

"No, you didn't. You didn't, Gideon." Desperate to comfort, Cassandra took his head between her hands, pressed her lips to his crown and began to rock. "You didn't."

Gideon basked in the feel of her touch, burned it into his memory to take with him when this was all over. And sadly, with the Templar's help, that day was fast approaching. He felt no shame in lathing his hands around her wrist and leaning forward. "I have the mages in my head."

"They're not real," Cassandra whispered in desperation. "It was all a lie."

"But they're in my head."

"Because that thing put them there."

"What…" Gideon faltered for a moment doing his best to collect his scattered thoughts. The weight of those images had been bearing down on him for weeks now, making it hard to think about anything else. He flexed his left hand as the mark crackled due to his churning emotions. "What if…"

"Gideon, look at me." Cassandra eased back until she looked into his grey eyes. She moved a hand to his bearded cheek. "You're not your father. You're not that person that thing tried to make you believe."

He tried to look away, but in true Cassandra fashion, she fought him. The emotions, the tears swirling in her dark orbs captivated the Herald.

"You, Gideon Trevelyan, are your own man." It hurt her heart far more than she anticipated to see him like this. Maker, Cassandra fought for composure. The feelings this man stirred caught her pleasantly off guard. "I know you've been thrust into this position, but you're putting your own mark on the world. Your mark that stems from your unyielding compassion and big heart. Never let anyone or anything take that away from you."

After letting her words wash over him, Gideon tilted the corner of his mouth slightly upwards. "I thought you found some of my attributes extremely frustrating."

Cassandra smiled down at him. "I do, but they're yours. Fight till your last breath to keep them."

His grip on her wrist tightened, keeping her in place. "I will." Gideon ran her thumb over the inside of her wrist, over her thudding pulse. He swore he felt it jump under his touch. "I will put an end to this. I will not fail you." And this time he didn't try to elaborate or indicate he was speaking of the Inquisition.

"I know you won't because I have faith in you. Now, care to get up? The floor is getting a bit hard."

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Did you enoy it? Please let me know :D


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